“I growd in your tummy, Momma?” He said?
I scooped him up into my arms and snuggled him tight and said “No, sweet boy you didn’t”
And then he said, “I sleep on your chest when I a baby?”
And I always say “Yes! you spent months snuggled up right here!” As I pull him in for a squeeze.
“In your tummy” he asks again?
“No baby, you grew in your biological mother’s tummy. You were born in the hospital and then mommy and daddy brought you home from the hospital and loved you lots!”
“I adopted at the hotel?” he asked
I laughed and said “the courthouse silly. Remember from your adoption video?” And I took that moment to start at the top and give him the 5 year old version of his story.
His very special story.
We talk about his story as often as he wants to. And we work hard to share words that will equip him to proudly share as much or as little as he wants to. Soon enough the kids on the playground will be asking all sorts of questions if they aren’t already.
A few months ago it was just him and I getting my oil changed and a kind older woman sat down in our little corner of the waiting area and Keags being our outgoing, full of life, loves every person he meets kind of kid starts up a conversation with this stranger turned new friend. And it was the first time that he… totally on his own… boldly shared with her the words “I adopted.” He looked back at me to check in and I just smiled at him. There’s so much of their story that is theirs to share… and we want them to know if so they can share it or not share it if they would like.
If there’s anything I have learned along our journey it’s that every journey is so different. And there’s no right way to walk through this stuff. And I have also learned enough to be humbled by it all and even give myself the grace to change my mind and opinions on things too. Just because we have done something one way doesn’t mean that’s the way we will always do it.
But I am pretty confident in the beauty of his story… of their story. Of our story.
Our stories and our words have power. They connect us to who we are and where we have come from. They are filled with strength. And hearing them reminds us of where we have come from. I know so many different adoptive families who choose to handle things in all sorts of ways. For us, since they were itty bitty we have shared with them they were adopted. And have worked hard to familiarize them with their story in age appropriate pieces.
All of The kids ask often… “Can I ask you a question?”
And my response is always “Yes”
Even if we have already hit One Million on our daily word count I always say “Always!”
I want them to feel free to ask whatever they want however big or small it may be. We talk about big things. We talk about silly things. We talk about hard things. We do real life. And we do it together!
Are you an adoptive family? How have you talked about or celebrated your family’s story? Leave us a comment and share your story with us!
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